Venting

Everyone is losing their jobs. The economy is terrible, and good people are being punished for the sins of others. It all started here in Vegas with greed and stupidity. The houses here were going up like match sticks being bent up on a book. Furiously mortgage companies were determined to get anyone and everyone into homes, regardless of credit history, or ability to pay. Greed was the main component. Like leasing a car most people never read the fine print, or had the sense to use their critical thinking to figure out that if you are buying a 400,000 dollar home and your payment is $900 dollars, it may be to good to be true. That is where it began. Then is snowballed. More easy loans, more buyers. It attracts investors, more homes, prices go up, values go up, too many homes, not enough buyers, but values are still up, investor homes sitting empty, turn into rentals. Then it hits, that ARM mortgage that was signed for all of a sudden balloons. Now instead of a $900 payment, it starts to creep up, $1000.00, $2000.00, and now the real payment is being made. People foreclose, no one sells or buys homes. Real estate agents lose jobs, then the mortgage brokers, then the lenders, then the car dealers, then the construction industry, then the casinos, then the small businesses close, then the large businesses start the layoffs. Ladies and gentlemen, that is where we are at. As of today; my dad is out of work, my aunt is out of work, my dad's best friend is out of work, and my husbands best friend is out of work. These are the people who have been in their respective industries for years, they are the people with integrity. Who loved their work, who had purchased homes the right way, raised familes, and had already had to struggle. It isn't right. It just isn't right. I don't have any power to change any situation, and that is the worst part of all. I am angry, because of materialism, greed, and ignorance. In 2009 I am going to start on my progression away from consumption and materialism . After all, what is it that we all need?
Duane Elgin said, "we can describe voluntary simplicity as a manner of living that is outwardly more simple and inwardly more rich, a way of being in which our most authentic and alive self is brought into direct and conscious contact with living."

Dad's Birthday cake

Here is my dad's birthday cake, he was born on the reservation, pretty much in an abandoned hogan. He was born on christmas day, so this is a tribute to his humble birth.

My Present

I got my christmas present early, I got a 1 terabyte external network hard drive for christmas. I know that sounds super nerdy but my computer was at capacity ( which I never thought would happen) I really needed to transfer tons of pictures and music to a new drive. It is awesome, and I am so excited. I never thought I would get a terabyte! Merry Christmas to me!

Survivorman Lament

Last night was a dark night for me. I had to bid farewell to my most beloved series. Survivorman. Les Stroud, the most awesome guy on the planet (not in my family) Reminds me every friday night why I appreciate the city, & how someday I'd like to return to my roots on the reservation. WHY?!?!?! WHY!?!?! is it over, whaaaaaaaa. (me crying like a 2 year old girl) It was the best show on television, and the end was even worse because they taunted me with High Def. Someday, my precious. Someday, you will return to me in another form of survival awesomeness. We will then use our kudlicks and snares again!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

SNOW

Our new Christmas Tradition

I am still sick, but this evening I was feeling better, so I thought it was a good night to go out a nd start our newest family christmas tradition. I thought it was important to have a few christmas traditions that we as a family could do together. So to the mall, to visit Santa, and tell him what we want for Christmas.Brock let Santa know he wanted Thomas the Tank Engine stuff, and an airplane. The other tradition is to go to build-a-bear & make a stuffed animal for christmas. He picked out the cutest black bear, and we put a personalized message in it, which was me singing "I am a child of God" Which is his favorite song. My major cold sounded interesting on the recording, but he loves it. When we looked at the outfits to pick out, we has to try on a ton of things, we finally settled on a Scout shirt (like daddy's) And then it was time to do a birth ceritificate. I asked him what he wanted to name the bear, and he got this serious look on his face, like he was thinking really hard. He named him "Fike", dont ask me where that came from. We ate at Johnny Rockets as well, which is really good. burgers and fries, who can beat it!
We also had snow in vegas. It made the national news, a friend of ours was snowed in! He got 11 inches at his house. We got about 3 inches. It was really cool, and weird! Happy Holidays.

UPDATE:

Olive oil and Dish soap works! yeah!

The Snow, The Cold, the hair...

It is beautiful and clean smelling outside, but really cold. I had to run out and cover my flowers with trashbags to keep them warm. Hopefully that will work, and they wont die. I also came down with a cold, and this time I could take some major meds, instead of steam & tylenol. I have been pregnant the last few times Ive been sick, and could not take anything. Hopefully the kids wont get sick. WHile I was drugged out this morning, Brock got out of bed & "fixed" his hair with petroleum based hair wax, he caked it on and so I spent an hour just getting the top layer off. Then combed little by little some of it out. His hair is still full of it, but its not obviously caked on. I've been reading on the internet that olive oil & dawn dish soap will get it out. SO, we will try that tommorow! There is no rest for the wicked!

feelings

I am so grumpy lately, I am not sure why. I just wanna bury my head in the sand, and get this year over with. I have nothing to complain about, I bought a house, had a baby, moved three times, got a ticket, messed my knees up, and my kids are healthy and happy. I just have the christmas blues. I guess this is the time of year I wish I had a ridiculous amount of money to spend on people I love, I would get them whatever they want. Especially Pete, he works so hard, and he deserves the triathlon bike of his dreams, but instead he just has to make due with what he has. I just hope someday I can buy him that bike. I need to got out of this funk, I know! I think the insomnia is a huge part of it.

Danielle's Birthday cake

I worked really hard on this, next time im going to do better butterflies. But, overall I really like it a lot!!!! You cant really see how sparkly it is in the pic. yeay!!! (im taking orders)


Cant think of a cake business name, open to suggestions. I though of "cake cakes" because that is what brock calls them, but then id have to explain it everytime!!!

Thanksgiving

My sisters birthday is on thanksgiving, and my dad's is on Christmas, so these are both double duty days! We have a lot of holiday expenses because of it. We, just did our Christmas shopping last night for the boys, which is so fun. Pete picked out a bike for Brock, and I got him a computer learning center that is so cool. And of course the add ons for thomas the train. We got both boys some blocks and small things. Carter got some different little toys to play with, all totally cute. On a budget we did a great job, thanks to Walmart this year!

6 quirks about myself (tagged by rachel)

1. I have a complete shopping list catagorized by isle at the walmart for 2 weeks worth of meals.

2. I lose my glasses everyday, I mean EVERY single day. I dont put anything that comes in and out of the house in the same place twice, purse, keys, children ect...

3. When driving I have this weird fear I developed after having kids, I HATE to change lanes. I used to zip in and out of traffic, but now I will stay behind a slow car until there is a huge opening to pass. It is really frustrating, and I am trying to get over it.

4. I have a real estate license, an EMT certification, Associates Degree, and I have done professional photography, cake baking, astronomy & Emergency Management. I cannot seem to keep focused on one thing, it is sad, I read tons of books on all these subjects. I have a lot of interests, a jack of all trades and master of none!

5. My life long dream was and is to be an astronaut. Since I was like 4 I wanted to be Sally Ride. I just am not smart enough in Math and Science. Everytime I see a shuttle launch I get really choked up! What a geek!

6. I cry or throw up at least once a week. I am an emotional person, and I am so weepie! And I get car sick at the drop of a hat. At least once a week I jumping out of the car and running for the bathroom to get sick. Oooops. there goes the fancy dinner we just had.


I dont have anyone to tag, sorry!!!!

Grey's Anatomy

Ok, so I just finished watching Grey's tonight. And all I have to say is... really??? Why can't anyone on this show be normal? The one character who seemed to have proper emotions was izzie. But ghost denny? What the heck am i watching? There is so much angst on this show it is ridiculous. Yet there I sit watching every week.

Our trip to Havasu for Pete's Triathlon

We had a really fun time this weekend. We went fishing and cooked meals in our room, (it had a kitchen) Fishing, playing with a train we bought Brock, the triathlon, and lots of family bonding. Very fun, and now we are all pooped out, and a little sun burnt. As for the triathlon results, Pete would have done better than ever in this triathlon, but in the last 4 miles of the 35 mile bike leg, he got TWO flats. So, it bumped his finish time by at least ten minutes, which is death in triathlon. He was pretty bummed, but took it in stride. We arent sure where he placed in the event, but it wasnt a top five like we had hoped. Next year will be great though. We had an overall fun weekend.

Cakes

Best Agency Cake
(brighter purple color in person)

My favorite poem

The Love-Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

By T.S. Eliot

Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky Like a patient etherized upon a table; Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets, The muttering retreats Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells: Streets that follow like a tedious argument Of insidious intent To lead you to an overwhelming question. . . Oh, do not ask, "What is it?" Let us go and make our visit. In the room the women come and go Talking of Michelangelo. The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains, Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys, Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, And seeing that it was a soft October night Curled once about the house, and fell asleep. And indeed there will be time For the yellow smoke that slides along the street, Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; There will be time, there will be time To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet; There will be time to murder and create, And time for all the works and days of hands That lift and drop a question on your plate; Time for you and time for me, And time yet for a hundred indecisions And for a hundred visions and revisions Before the taking of a toast and tea. In the room the women come and go Talking of Michelangelo. And indeed there will be time To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?" Time to turn back and descend the stair, With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— [They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"] My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin, My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin— [They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"] Do I dare Disturb the universe? In a minute there is time For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse. For I have known them all already, known them all; Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons; I know the voices dying with a dying fall Beneath the music from a farther room. So how should I presume? And I have known the eyes already, known them all— The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase, And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin, When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall, Then how should I begin To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? And how should I presume? And I have known the arms already, known them all— Arms that are braceleted and white and bare [But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!] Is it perfume from a dress That makes me so digress? Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl. And should I then presume? And how should I begin? . . . . . Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . . I should have been a pair of ragged claws Scuttling across the floors of silent seas. . . . . . And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! Smoothed by long fingers, Asleep . . . tired . . . or it malingers, Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me. Should I, after tea and cakes and ices, Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed, Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter, I am no prophet–and here's no great matter; I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, And in short, I was afraid. And would it have been worth it, after all, After the cups, the marmalade, the tea, Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me, Would it have been worth while, To have bitten off the matter with a smile, To have squeezed the universe into a ball To roll it toward some overwhelming question, To say: "I am Lazarus, come from the dead, Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all" If one, settling a pillow by her head, Should say, "That is not what I meant at all. That is not it, at all." And would it have been worth it, after all, Would it have been worth while, After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets, After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor— And this, and so much more?— It is impossible to say just what I mean! But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: Would it have been worth while If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl, And turning toward the window, should say: "That is not it at all, That is not what I meant, at all." . . . . . No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; Am an attendant lord, one that will do To swell a progress, start a scene or two Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous; Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; At times, indeed, almost ridiculous— Almost, at times, the Fool. I grow old . . . I grow old . . . I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach? I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach. I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I do not think they will sing to me. I have seen them riding seaward on the waves Combing the white hair of the waves blown back When the wind blows the water white and black. We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

Blu Water Tri

(I told him to pose like he meant it)

We are off on an adventure this weekend to Parker, Arizona for the Blu Water Triathlon. Pete will be competing in the Olympic Division. I hope we have a fun trip, mostly I am worried about making sure the kids are not going to get to fussy on the way there. Why is it that the mom has to pack and make sure that everyone is ready to go? It is so stressful getting out the door with the caravan of crap that has to be brought to sustain 4 people. If I were going by myself, there would be one bag to take & a purse. However, when it comes to the boys, it doubles in complication. Pete is no exception, he has four pairs of shoes that inevitably must make it with us, plus bike gear, swim gear, he wants back-ups for back-ups. Poor delicate lamb, he is such a girl!
Zokie and Mom will be protecting our house, frequent patrols are made by that stupid dog everyday, making sure everything is in its place. If a leaf moves he must inform the block. I am sad that I will miss church this weekend. (hell has frozen over with that statement) I never thought I would say that!!!
I have met a lot of fun people, that have great potential to be friends. I am also attending this class called "Preach my Gospel" It is really great. Don't worry, I am not a religious zealot going to break down your door thumping a bible, it's just a really in depth look at different principles like faith, and patience, and service. It is pretty cool to learn how to be a better person through serving others. I am not exactly the queen of congeniality.


What else is going on... oh yeah, Brock talks way to much, and way above normal two year old comprehension. He told me today, "What's all this junk on your bed?" I told him it was the laundry, not "junk" and I needed to fold it. He replied, " Oh that's right, I forgot." Most two year old garble something like, " I love Juice, or MINE!"

Sometimes his bossiness and back talk reminds me of someone, hmmmm....



"The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. "

— Abraham Lincoln

Limitless Undying Love...

I have a lot of favorite songs, but poetically some take the cake, lyrics from a song called Across the Universe are some of my favorite, and so this blog is named.

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world


Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Jai guru deva